You keep on telling yourself you need to be strong. Stay strong, they need you, they depend on you to be strong, to stay and stand strong.
You ask YHWH, how long still, how much more. How long still should I be strong for? I cannot anymore Lord. I am busy braking; my foundation feels like it is crumbling away, I just cannot anymore.
So many time have been lost, so many joy and happiness has been stolen. Why did all of this have to happen? So many pain and so much sadness, when will it be my turn.
Looking back, so little joy, so little happy moments. Lord how can there be Beauty from all of these Ashes. How can there be joy or hope when there is so much pain.
You are trying to have faith and hope for a future, but Lord all that I see is pain and sorrow. You try your best to not let that smile fade; because once it is fading, the pain will start to show.
So much pain, your heart feels like it is battling to beat, the pain is so unbearable. You wish you can remove your heart, place it in a box and just put it away. Then maybe, maybe then you can cope with all of this, with everything going on and everything that is surrounding you.
Maybe then, the pain will stop and I can focus again and be strong again.
Give your box and pain to Him, He will be strong for you, when you cannot be strong anymore, have faith in Him. He will never leave you or forsake you.
Shalom and Blessings